Friday, April 5, 2013

the effects of butter beer on the human brain

***warning! this post contains harry potter references that may be too advanced for the average consumer. continue reading at your own risk.***

hello y'all!

i'm not going to apologize for being late anymore because, let's be honest, this is getting redundant.

ok, I'M SORRY! there, i said it! the guilt was just killin me.

this past month has been JAM PACKED lemme tell ya! i took an immersive marine biology course at my school and spent a week on catalina island (don't let the glamorous sounding name fool you, i was staying at a summer camp.) the food was barf but i'm super into marine biology (sting rays are my favorite animals!) so getting to interact with ocean creatures on a daily basis was pretty much my dream. that, and being able to afford $18 soap from anthropologie when i'm older (and candles, and pillows, and oh boy...)

also, in case you have all been living under rocks (i honestly wouldn't blame you. this deficit is a real bummer amirite???) it's SPRING BREAK BITCHES. at least that's what they tell me in every movie, magazine, and string bikini. i actually never saw spring breakers. i think seeing selena gomez wielding a gun would reeeally ruin the new wizards of waverly place movie coming out (alex vs. alex!!) for me and i certainly could NOT have that!

in more interesting and more ***magical*** news, I WENT TO HARRY POTTER WORLD!!! let me give some background: i grew up on the harry potter books and movies. this is not your average love, oh no. i used to create entire, extremely detailed, harry potter games to play with my friends. i forced whatever unfortunate child nearest to me to play opposite me in a rita skeeter interview show, featuring the whole gang - ron, ginny, cho, and voldie - who avada kedavra'd my stuffed bunny...not happy about that ;(

walking through the giant archways into hogsmeade was like casting an "accio tears" spell (in case you didn't catch that in my pretentious disclaimer, probably a good 60% of my brain space is occupied by hp knowledge.) the main ride through hogwarts castle, and i'm not kidding when i say this, was by far the BEST RIDE I HAVE EVER BEEN ON!! hermione casts a spell on you and suddenly you're flying on a broom over hogwarts with ron and harry!!!! if that doesn't just make your heart well up then you must be lucius malfoy or something because this stuff is HEART WRENCHING!

a note on butter beer:
butter beer is an ultra sweet, bubbly, syrupy drink complete with marshmallow froth. it is delicious (sort of a butterscotch-y taste) but WARNING: ONLY CONSUME IN SMALL DOSES! me and my hpbff (shout out to you ecc! wink) learned the hard way that the sugar in butter beer goes straight to your brain for a sugar rush as high as the top spire of hogwarts. and as we all know, what goes up, must come down (unless you use the wingardium leviosa charm on it of course!) the crash and burn from butter beer cannot be stressed enough. DO NOT DRINK IT TOO FAST. do drink it sort of fast, however, because subsequent research on butterbeer found that the drink will actually "expire" after half an hour! this is because the recipe is top secret (ruh roh) to make sure no crazy scientist spies will whisk the butter beer off to their labs. unless one were to build a lab in harry potter world... ***cocks one eyebrow***

anywho...if you go, get it. enjoy it. but make sure you have somewhere to conk out when it hits your bloodstream (just personally, i would go with buckbeak's nest. that thing looked pretty comfortable!)

all in all, hp world was everything i wanted and more. i can't wait to return with my newly purchased ravenclaw swag though all the orlando tourists may not fully appreciate it.

until next time (which will be soon! i promise!) (oh, don't look at me like that. i'm doing my best here.)


Saturday, February 23, 2013

don't feed the plants

this week i only had a three day week at school which was great, but also left me feeling kind of unsatisfied. that's probably the nerdiest thing i've ever said, but it's true. long weekends i can do. but only 3 days of real school made me feel unproductive and sloth-like. there's a time and and place for sloth-like behavior.

if you are a human being, you probably watched the beyonce documentary last weekend on hbo. holy guacamole. she is amazing. granted, i may have had a tiny bias before starting it, but i think all of us, beyonce fans or not (who am i kidding, we're ALL beyonce fans!) can agree it was a quite amazing film. i really like how it didn't try and filter the information and footage to present her in only the best light. they showed her making videos on her laptop with no makeup on, becoming frustrated with crew members, doubting herself. it just shows how she accepts herself so fully as a person. man oh man, i love her so.

i made a promise to myself that i wouldn't talk about crying on this blog anymore but i'm going to break it. guys, i have been crying SO much lately. especially late at night because my brain just decides to not function properly after 11 pm (NEVER send texts at this time you will regret it!) at night everything is so much scarier. like leslie and ben getting married before their actual wedding! what are you DOING guys? leslie's dress isn't finished and your parents aren't there and WHAT IF YOU REGRET THIS? and then you wake up and you're like, "eh. that episode of 'the booth at the end' wasn't THAT scary." (the booth at the end is a hulu original series-stay with me-about a booth in a diner-no i promise it's good-where this guy makes people do scary or illegal or bad things in exchange for something they really want. for most people it's like saving their son's life but some are just like "i want to be prettier so i'll rob a bank." sorry, not buying it. anyway, watch it! it's kinda twin peaks-y meets futuristic tom cruise movie. it's so good! but just don't watch it at midnight because you will cry.) technology really has a way of sucking you in and taking your soul.

speaking of evil technology, this weekend i was bored (may i remind you, 3 DAY WEEK) so i went poking around the app store on the computer (it's like a bigger one of the app store on your phone and everything costs $30!) and i found this game that is SO fun it's called "life quest 2" or something and it's kind of like sims except if you forget to feed your person one day or make them pee they don't DIE. you basically get jobs and take college classes and then you can take university classes and make friends and go to the gym and go to restaurants and buy an apartment. you're probably thinking, couldn't you just do all these things in real life? to which i say, YES but why ACTUALLY do them when you can VIRTUALLY do them? anyways, i was absolutely shocked to see this game was free! what kind and generous souls the people of big fish games must be, right? WRONG! they are evil soul-sucking demons! and that is not an exaggeration! in the midst of me signing up for my advanced science university degree (which was not cheap, let me tell you) my screen froze (GASP) and i was informed in order to continue building a successful education, marriage, and career for my virtual self, i would have to PAY $9.99! when i learned of this news, i burst into tears as a montage of the hour me and my virtual friend had spent together. me clicking on the hair color i wanted, me clicking on the sleep button, me clicking on the enroll button for a whittling class. after explaining this ordeal to my mother with impressive use of ethos, logos, and pathos, she agreed to keep the friendship alive! (is it friendship if it's between me and virtual me? that's a question for another time...) i'm sure all as utterly RELIEVED as i am.

moral of the story: nothing in this world is free. except for friendship. wait, nevermind. nothing is free.

virtual ella and/or real ella

p.s. fellow bloggers! i am having a dilemma. how do you post gifs on this format? whenever i try to insert them they just show up as pictures. i have a massive gif collection on my computer and i am quite proud of how well i have curated it. help would be appreciated.

Monday, February 18, 2013


well hello there!

i apologize for my lack of posting lately...i guess i've just been feeling uninspired and blah. this week, i sent the first of a series of pop culture flyers to my friend and i thought i would share it with y'all as well!

without further ado, here is a collection of videos/articles/music from this week that fill me with joy and i hope do the same for you.

Welcome to the first edition of your weekly pop culture flyer courtesy of me.

1. Elle Fanning did an adorable candy themed photo shoot for New York Magazine which left me seething with jealousy and led to me eating the entirety of my valentine's day candy while watching the slideshow. 

2. One of my favorite bands, Marina and the Diamonds, just released a new music video/teaser for Valentine's Day! The song is called E.O.V.L. and it's great. 

p.s. Your browser isn't skipping, the video is weird and supposed to be like that.

3. Lana Del Rey also released a music video for the holiday for "Burning Desire". It's just okay. A lot of cars and singing on stages and found footage. Been there done that Lana. 

4. This isn't really from this week but I found it this week and I think you'd like it. Miley Cyrus did what she calls "backyard sessions" (her backyard is beautiful!) a while ago and I don't know if I'm just being emotional but I actually really love it. Her voice sounds just totally amazing and I can't stop listening to these. She does her Hannah Montana self indulgent thing a couple times but hey, she's just being Miley. Did I mention her voice sounds amazing? Stick to country, MiCy.

5. Today, an anti-domestic violence and sexual assault group called One Billion Rising organized a bunch of flash mobs around the city and Ann Hathaway supports it and so do a bunch of other celebs blah blah. It's really a great thing and excuse to just break out into dance. The day's not over yet. 

7. Haim, an adorable band of Jewish sisters from LA, released a new single this week called "Falling." They're super cute and I think you'll like them. The song is SO GOOD. I've been playing it nonstop. 

8. Keaton Henson came out with a new video this week starring my friend Arrow, directed by her mom Autumn. It's very cute and touching. Don't be embarrassed if you cry. I did.

9. It's girl scout cookie season! To justify your thin mint hoarding, watch this awesome video from the New York Times about this adorable girl being a super savvy business lady.

10. In more historic/forensic news, human remains found under a car park in Leicester were confirmed on Monday to belong to King Richard III! It's a really cool creepy story if you're into stuff like that.

I think that's about all for this week. 

Until next week!

This has been your weekly dose of pop culture.


***UPDATE*** one of my lovely readers has informed me the miley cyrus links weren't working. i just replaced them and i'm pretty sure they work this time. if they don't, let me know and i will fix it. i really want you guys to experience acoustic micy!

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

*cough cough* ... no i'm actually coughing

here i am stuck at home on day 3 of...ONE DIRECTION INFECTION an actual unidentified illness that has nothing to do with 5 beautiful and talented boys. i've just been watching A TON of tv and wallowing in self pity. i'm pretty sure i've seen the E! golden globes special 3 times. joan rivers is a legitimate crazy person.

whenever i'm sick, i get really crazy and i start texting everyone in my classes like "i'm SO sorry i wasn't there to work on our project today i will be there tomorrow i did some work at home here are my notes call me anytime!!!") and everyone's like STAY AT HOME YOU'RE GONNA GET ME SICK and then i'm like NEVERRRRRRR. my breath also smells really nice so that's a plus.

also, i had a total eclipse of the mind watching comedy central (key & peele whattuuuup) when i realized that joel mchale (from community) is the guy from 'the soup' that weird celebrity gossip show (or something? i've actually never seen the show so i'm sorry to 'the soup'. p.s. i hate whoever came up with the name 'the soup'.) this realization has pretty much totally ruined my perception of that character because while jeff winger is totally endearingly douche-y, if the actor is a weird actor guy (you know the type) then it's really upsetting. damn my community hunger!! this is what happens when you watch the entire 3 seasons of a show on hulu in a month. over researching is something i need to work on ('but woops, too late for this years new years resolutions so it'll just have to wait until next year waaaaaahahahah' - the devil.)

i'm using my super psychic mind powers to make myself better for tomorrow because i swear to god if i am in bed for another day i will die. that is an absolutely, literally true statement.

stay healthy, (and make sure that you're PRETTY positive it's the flu before you go to the doctor especially if your doctor is an hour away...thanks mom. thanks for inconsiderately picking the best pediatrician in the next town over for me. sometimes i just don't know what goes on in that woman's head.)


ps i'm sincerely really sorry if i cough on you.

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

i make no promises

well, school has started again. for my younger readers (holla!) you all know what i'm feelin right now. it's like a strange stew of excitement and anxiety and laziness and gossip girl marathon withdrawal.

as much as i'd like to believe it, my life is not a sitcom. and that realization just makes it feel all the more bland (though truthfully it's quite far from that.) sometimes in conversations when i run out of things to say, i wish it would just cut away to a different storyline.

i feel perpetually unsatisfied which only makes me more restless. i think this is something they call "puberty" in human development class. i vaguely remember going over it, but symptoms include sudden bursts of emotion, excessive crying, a longing for "something more" (though you'll never be sure what that something is), and general frustration with yourself and the world around you. i'm told it'll pass. at this point, i'm not so sure.

i recently had to interview my godmom for a class project (a giant report all about myself. i should just print out pages from this blog and turn those in.) one thing that made me giggle was that she said when i was younger i always used to light up when someone would talk about clothes or desserts. some things never change.


p.s. i make no promises as to how many times i will say "holla" in the future. take it or leave it.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

nerdiness in the new year

greetings fellow inhabitants of the blogosphere!

now that things are off to a sufficiently nerdy start, happy 2013! according to my facebook newsfeed 2012 was the worst year EVER! the good news is, in the words of the one and only j biebs, "we can go nowhere but up from here, my dear." nevertheless, i have a good feeling about 2013. 13 is taylor swift's favorite number so there must be some sort of sparkly magic surrounding it.

now, a list of my top 10 blog posts from 2012.

just kidding.

it would be way too hard to choose only 10.

alas, i have broken my promise to you. over the break, i really took a break. in my absence, however, i'm very excited to report to you, dear readers, i discovered that there is in fact a world outside these things they call "bedrooms." there is so much to experience-of course only for the purpose of relaying it back to you.

for the past two weeks i have been in maui, soaking up the sun and subsequently feeling insufficient in my tanning abilities. so if you see me over the next few days, a comment on how sun kissed i look would be a greatly appreciated ego boost.

i'm actually kind of excited to return to my routine (eat, blog, watch tv, repeat). it's like the first day of school all over again except you don't get new students, new classes, or new clothes. i'm not that excited anymore.

i wish you all a new year which exceeds all of your expectations (which i recommend you keep very low so as not to be disappointed if 2013 "SUCKS SO MUCH OMG" -an actual made up quote from one of my virtual friends.)

your 3rd favorite blogger

Thursday, December 20, 2012

it's the end of the world (or at least the semester)

i'm freeeeeee!

today was my last day of school for the semester. it's so weird to think i only have one semester left of the hell that is middle school. thinking back, it wasn't so bad. oh wait, it WAS. finals were bleh and not too hard but i had my fair share of melt downs this week. sometimes when i start crying a little, i start to think of other things that make me cry and then i just cry more and everyone's like, "are you still crying about your paper cut?" and i'm like "NO I'M JUST A TINY PIECE OF THE UNIVERSE I'M SO INSIGNIFICANT!"

speaking of the universe, assuming this is one of the last nights we will see i've put a lot of thought into how i would prefer the world to end. while everyone around me seems to hope for a survival of the fittest type situation, this sounds like just about the worst possibility for me in particular. i am small, not particularly athletic, and relatively jumpy (though not squeamish at all.) i'm pretty sure i would be one of the first to die. or, even worse, i would find a clever hiding place but eventually be forced from it to die a horrible death at the hands of the most brutal humans on the planet. i would much rather have some sort of "smite thee from the heavens" deal where we're all killed by a giant lightning bolt or something. knock 'em all out in one fowl swoop. that's how i would do it anyways.

it's times like these that make me want to be a better person. kind of. ok not really.

there's a part of me that thinks it would be kind of awesome if the world ended. but i don't ever allow that part to speak because it spews all kinds of morbid thoughts.

assuming the world doesn't actually end, i'll be on a plane to maui on saturday! if the world ends before i get some guava juice i am going to be SO upset.

if this is the last thing i ever post, thank you for reading. it's been a great 3 months.

hoping you have a beautifully morbid last day,